Discouraged by my wife

[speedo1967]

Great points. My wife refuses to even wear sexy underwear! Gets boring. And while she is 40 she prefers and does wear grandma underwear...not even bikinis. Such a disappointment.

[hpfny]

https://www.yahoo.com/style/woman-wears ... 20527.html

Bottom line: If she can wear a two-piece bikini to the beach, then any man (of whatever size or shape) has the right to wear a "Speedo"-style swimsuit too. Simple!

[Georgeoz]

Are you a man or a mouse?

It seems to me that middle aged American women have forgotten, or don't want to know ,that we are all sexual creatures. Any woman who is fool enough to think she can erase or delete a man's sexual appearance is asking for that man to say goodbye.

Every man I have ever observed is equipped with one dick and two balls and they were designed by nature to be displayed, usually to the opposite sex but sometimes by others as well. The Speedo swimsuit is designed mainly for efficient swimming but also to facilitate male display. Be proud of your dick and balls and make sure others know you are proudly displaying them.

Another thing - American women seem to me to have some idea of what are called "family values", by which is apparently meant that the innocent eyes of children must be protected from the allegedly unwholesome sight of a real man. Even in a "revealing" swimsuit. As we would say in Australia, this is bullshit. From what I have observed of kids, they know a great deal more about all the wonderful aspects of sex and sexuality than their timid parents even dream of. And good on them.

[diveguy]

https://www.yahoo.com/style/woman-wears ... 20527.html

Bottom line: If she can wear a two-piece bikini to the beach, then any man (of whatever size or shape) has the right to wear a "Speedo"-style swimsuit too. Simple!

While I encourage people not to be hugely overweight for overall health reasons, I have zero problem with this or any other plus size woman wearing a skimpy string bikini. In fact, I think she looks so much better in the tiny skimpy suit than the typical plus-sized bloomers and boulder holders that big women typically wear. As illustrated by comparing the picture of her in the tiny suit at the top of the article, versus the granny pants laundry bag sized thing she's wearing in the pic at the bottom of the article.

[diveguy]

It seems to me that middle aged American women have forgotten, or don't want to know ,that we are all sexual creatures. Any woman who is fool enough to think she can erase or delete a man's sexual appearance is asking for that man to say goodbye.

...or to say hello. To another woman. On the side. On the sly.

[MRspeedoman]

...I used to always fear wearing a Speedo due to how other people would look at me; including my family who are a bunch of prudes to begin with. I kept letting the power of others' opinions be the determination of what I wear because I used to think the cons outweighed the pros.

Until my mid-twenties, I realized that the reason the majority is like this, all because they gave in too much power to that "majority rules" mindset. I have always believed that the problem comes down to three things, confidence, acceptance, and fear. Having the confidence in oneself to overcome what other say, accept that there is always going to be something we won't like about our bodies, and fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.

BTW, I heard a radio piece this weekend that made me think of this discussion. "This American Life" on NPR had a piece by author Malcolm Gladwell about how some ideas- even good ones- never gain traction generally.

The specific example he used was how Wilt Chamberlain would have been a better all around NBA player if he'd adopted the "granny throw" for free throws; there was another contemporary player who did, Rick Barry, who had a 90% free throw percentage for his career (the highest in NBA history) and who tried to convince Wilt to throw that way, but Wilt was afraid of being mocked- the underhand shot is a "sissy" way to throw- and so Wilt Chamberlain continued the traditional, overhand technique and had an abysmal (less than 50%) average.

Gladwell said of Rick Barry, "his drive to be a better shooter is stronger than his worry about what others think of him," and that if you're the sort of person who readily adopts an unusual idea (like we are in this case), "you're someone who doesn't need the support or the approval or the company of others to do what you think is right."

Just like your thoughts on speedos, MRSpeedoman!

Thank you for sharing that story 52! It is a relief to know there are others who share that mindset. Life is too short to worry about what others think.

[shadowsplash]

This summer I decided to wear my Speedo in the back yard. Wife does not like my taste. She said it is too skimpy. That is the idea. Why can women bikinis but a man gets viewed like he is from another planet when he wears a speedo style swimsuit?

Its called womans lip....
Those lips will never stop flapping and each time they do they need to make a scene so as to distract from the womans lip infliction

But yeah, I too dont get what the fuss is, after all us guys all have jibbly bits down there, maybe they are jealous they dont have any
I've never asked and not that I care what they had to say if they did

[shadowmn]

The whole point of wearing a speedo is not only for our pleasure but for recreational swimming. The idea that your wife doesn't want you to swim laps while wearing a speedo is ridiculous. My wife used to be more supportive of my speedo wearing, but has grown less tolerant over the years mostly because of my indecisiveness about wearing one at public places or sometimes even bringing more than one suit with me because I wasn't sure what I could get away with. Now I either wear one or I don't and try not to make a big deal out of it. We went to the beach twice this year and I wore my squarecut speedo one day which she loved and then a brief speedo on the next trip. I knew she would have preferred the squarecut again, but I wanted to wear what made me happy so I just dropped my shorts without a second thought. It was a great day at the beach for me and for both of us.

[rmf]

Its called womans lip.... Those lips will never stop flapping and each time they do they need to make a scene so as to distract from the womans lip infliction

Wow. I am scratching my head on this one....

My wife used to be more supportive of my speedo wearing, but has grown less tolerant over the years mostly because of my indecisiveness about wearing one at public places or sometimes even bringing more than one suit with me because I wasn't sure what I could get away with. Now I either wear one or I don't and try not to make a big deal out of it. We went to the beach twice this year and I wore my squarecut speedo one day which she loved and then a brief speedo on the next trip. I knew she would have preferred the squarecut again, but I wanted to wear what made me happy so I just dropped my shorts without a second thought. It was a great day at the beach for me and for both of us.

Similar situation here. In general, my wife is tired of my indecisiveness regarding anything I wear be it to the beach, event or out for the evening. I learned pretty quickly on a trip to Mexico when I first made the switch from wearing them as "underwear" (with my shorts) to my primary suit that I needed to just man up and do it or... shut up - sit down. What I learned not do in the future was to ask her if she thought I should wear them or not. She clearly was OK with me wearing them during the trip because she pointed out a few suits on other guys that she liked or thought would look good on me. She just didn't want me to be indecisive about it. Fast forward to our last beach trip, her only comment or question regarding my swimsuit choice was really why didn't I rotate the suits I packed. I wore a Turbo suit several days in a row and she suggested I wear my Mr. Turk suit instead. She definitely leans towards me wearing fashion suit to the beach and keep athletic suits for when I go work out.

[shadowmn]

Similar situation here. In general, my wife is tired of my indecisiveness regarding anything I wear be it to the beach, event or out for the evening. I learned pretty quickly on a trip to Mexico when I first made the switch from wearing them as "underwear" (with my shorts) to my primary suit that I needed to just man up and do it or... shut up - sit down. What I learned not do in the future was to ask her if she thought I should wear them or not. She clearly was OK with me wearing them during the trip because she pointed out a few suits on other guys that she liked or thought would look good on me. She just didn't want me to be indecisive about it. Fast forward to our last beach trip, her only comment or question regarding my swimsuit choice was really why didn't I rotate the suits I packed. I wore a Turbo suit several days in a row and she suggested I wear my Mr. Turk suit instead. She definitely leans towards me wearing fashion suit to the beach and keep athletic suits for when I go work out.

YES! That is key. Asking your wife if you should wear them or not just leads to less tolerance of your swimwear choice. I have learned that as well. I believe that if you're firm in your decision to wear them, no one will have anything to say about it.

[diveguy]

I'd be curious to hear from you gentlemen that have wives that are at best iffy on you wearing your speedos in public: What type of swimsuits do your wives wear in public? If you don't mind saying. If the answer is "bikini", how skimpy? I ask only because for me, my ultimate fantasy (and therefore life's goal) would be to mate up with a woman who still looks physically attractive enough and has the eager desire to wear the nastiest little Wicked Weasel g-string bikinis, and have no fear being seen on the beach in them. While walking hand in hand with me in a small speedo, bikini, or even thong, and she simply loves it. That would be heaven on earth.

[PNWGuy]

My wife wears a pretty conservative one-piece swimsuit, but has no problem with me wearing a small bikini (currently a Sporti Euro cut). it's all she's ever seen me wear in 35 years. We're in the process of divorce, but that's because I came out as gay, not because of swimsuit choices.

[shadowmn]

My wife wears one piece suits that covers up much that she does not want to reveal. She's not very happy each time she has to wear a suit because she's not in the shape that she once was. There was a time where she wore bikinis and displayed much more confidence in her body and with that came much more acceptance of my speedos. I think it bothers her alot that I can wear something skimpy while she no longer feels good about wearing anything small. I can understand that for sure. Like I said though, the less of a big deal that you make it with your wife or SO, the more normal it will become. I think at this point, she has come to accept that I wear speedos and that's just the way it is, like it or not.

[timinauckland]

This summer I decided to wear my Speedo in the back yard. Wife does not like my taste. She said it is too skimpy. That is the idea. Why can women bikinis but a man gets viewed like he is from another planet when he wears a speedo style swimsuit?

It's okay. At least you can go topless in public without getting too much trouble. Double-standards always exist.

[swimtimx]

Thanks for the comments so far, guys. I love my wife and this isn't necessarily a battle I'm willing to dig my heels in about. We live in the south, which is very culturally conservative (I would never in a million years tell anyone at work that I don't attend church and am a Democrat, for example), so a lot of her attitude is shaped by where we live.

But also, I think I might just continue swimming in briefs anyway and be discreet with her about it. She and I don't go to the gym at the same time, and the lap pool is pretty private- there's such a small percentage of the membership that goes to swim laps that it shouldn't matter what I wear there.

But, sadly, I think I can give up on the idea that I might someday visit a quiet beach with her and be free of sucky board shorts.

How many guys do you see wearing boxers/shorts in swim competitions? Or in the olympics? None of course, because they slow you down horrendously (drag). How about divers? Same situation. You're at the gym; you go there to work out, and you need to use the correct gear to get the best workout. The guys swimming in shorts don't know what they are doing.