Frustrated and Upset

[52dno98]

I write this from the beach in Northwest Florida, where I’m on vacation with my wife, preschooler son, and her parents. We’ve been on the beach for the last three days, and despite literally thousands of people, I haven’t seen a single speedo. I saw one guy- I’m guessing he was Brazilian based on my guess of what language he was speaking (I mean, I think I know what Portuguese sounds like?) wearing a sunga, and the women he was with were wearing much skimpier bikinis than the American women here, but literally no one has been in a speedo.

There are SO many disgusting obese people here, and I’m frustrated by the fact that it’s perfectly socially acceptable for a very fat person to wear a bikini (in the case of a woman) or no shirt (men) and display their hideous giggling bellies and yet if someone who tries to stay fit wears a speedo to the beach they’re a pariah.

I asked my wife if she would be ok with me sunning myself in a speedo and she said, “are you crazy? Have you seen literally one other person in one?”

We’re just stupid primates who can’t be seen doing something the rest of the monkey troupe isn’t already doing. I wish I had the balls to stand up and be different, but I also like my wife to be happy.

[Scottiebum]

That is such a shame for you. I totally get what you are saying about what is socially acceptable and what is not.
I do not know what to suggest, other than the old motto - happy wife, happy life!

[SthOzGuy81]

Luckily in Australia swim briefs are commonly worn and you’ll always see guys in them. Most younger guys these days are wearing boardies unfortunately.



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[52dno98]

That is such a shame for you. I totally get what you are saying about what is socially acceptable and what is not.
I do not know what to suggest, other than the old motto - happy wife, happy life!

Yeah I love my wife- I’m more frustrated by the situation in the U.S. than I am with her.

[BJE]

I wouldn’t be concerned about being the only guy on the beach in a speedo. You’re going to look much better than all those fat guys you mention. I don’t think anyone is really going to care what you are wearing. Any concern is all in your head. You already have balls so just go out on the beach in a speedo and don’t even think about it. I’m always the only guy in a speedo whenever I wear one which is every time I go to a pool. I’ve only seen one other guy in a speedo in probably the past ten to fifteen years.

By the way I know that I know what Portuguese sounds like. I’ve lived in Brazil and I speak it quite well. I’d love to wear a speedo on Copacabana beach. I’ve read that male foreigners wear skimpier swimsuits than the locals.

[markuswolf09]

52dno98, I am familiar with the scenario that you speak of, and it's made me compromise by wearing jammers in many situations. But I've also just donned a speedo before. My wife appreciates it, and that's good enough for me.

Peer pressure to conform is an unfortunate reality.

[speedobillyuk]

I write this from the beach in Northwest Florida, where I’m on vacation with my wife, preschooler son, and her parents. We’ve been on the beach for the last three days, and despite literally thousands of people, I haven’t seen a single speedo. I saw one guy- I’m guessing he was Brazilian based on my guess of what language he was speaking (I mean, I think I know what Portuguese sounds like?) wearing a sunga, and the women he was with were wearing much skimpier bikinis than the American women here, but literally no one has been in a speedo.

There are SO many disgusting obese people here, and I’m frustrated by the fact that it’s perfectly socially acceptable for a very fat person to wear a bikini (in the case of a woman) or no shirt (men) and display their hideous giggling bellies and yet if someone who tries to stay fit wears a speedo to the beach they’re a pariah.

I asked my wife if she would be ok with me sunning myself in a speedo and she said, “are you crazy? Have you seen literally one other person in one?”

We’re just stupid primates who can’t be seen doing something the rest of the monkey troupe isn’t already doing. I wish I had the balls to stand up and be different, but I also like my wife to be happy.

I know what you mean, but don't be put off. Found myself in a similar situation a few years back on a popular beach here in the UK. It was mid-September and a beautiful sunny day, but so late in the season the sun wasn't too strong - no need for any protection. I always wear speedos for tanning, and I'd just bought a new pair of Billabong briefs that I wanted to try out. Found a part of the beach which was relatively quiet, ie nobody else within about 20m. Within 30 minutes the area had filled up with the younger crowd. Nobody gave me a second glance - no negative vibes, just everybody enjoying the beach. Don't recall anyone else in speedos, and it just didn't matter. Wear what you want - not what you might believe others would approve of.

[blueflinch]

Hey, lay off the fatties in bikinis! They probably can't fit into regular swimsuits anymore. Some respect please!

But, yeah, I hear your pain, brother. No speedos amid thousands is a pretty poor result.

[UkiwaKyopan]

Remember, there are regular people by the millions, speedo superheroes only few.

Rock the Lycra!

[whoami]

That’s sad. You need to go to south Florida next time. I believe your wife’s jaw will be dropping. If you go to Haulover beach in Miami, you’ll see all kinds of swimwear on guys if they are not naked. I also saw families on that beach too. Parents with their 4 or 5 year old daughter. The mother donned two pieces, dad was naked and the daughter was not. They had fun, and it seems the kid didn’t mind it at all.

Speedos are also common on other beaches in south Florida. Occasionally you’ll see thong wearing men, too.

[rmf]

As someone who experienced the same thing in the same area of Florida first hand, I agree with your observation and I don't think it is going to change any time soon. We have been going to the same small beach access in the panhandle beach area now for several years and I am beginning to recognize at lease a couple of the locals that go to the beach there regularly. I figure if anyone has the inclination to wear one, they may feel like that might be the access spot to wear them too because for over a week or so every August, there is a guy and his kid hanging out wearing them too.

[shadowmn]

I hear ya. I remember being so frustrated and upset after going to the beach and not being able to wear my speedo because I was either too afraid to drop the shorts or my wife did not approve. All I can say is this, it's your vacation too and you should be able to enjoy yourself. Make it a point to drop the shorts as soon as you find your spot. I've found that if I establish a precedence right from the start, my wife is usually a little more tolerant of my speedo. She finds that it's much more obvious that I'm dropping my shorts after I've been there for awhile than when I first get there. I don't think it's too much to ask for a couple hours to make yourself happy. For all we know as speedo wearers, there may be more guys on the beach just waiting for the first guy to drop his shorts for the rest of us to follow suit.

[_su_]

Make it a point to drop the shorts as soon as you find your spot. I've found that if I establish a precedence right from the start, my wife is usually a little more tolerant of my speedo. She finds that it's much more obvious that I'm dropping my shorts after I've been there for awhile than when I first get there.

I highly recommend this too. You want to appear confident, don't you?

Or if you are wearing some loose baggy shorts over the top, stop walking for a second and slip em off as soon as you see anyone else in a swimsuit when your feet first hit the sand. Kind of like when some people slip their sandals off when they get to the sand. Just please take them with you; no one likes having to step over or around your stuff to get to the beach.

[diveguy]

Luckily in Australia swim briefs are commonly worn and you’ll always see guys in them. Most younger guys these days are wearing boardies unfortunately.

Sad but true. I am always looking for fresh online pictures and videos of beaches in traditionally speedo friendly countries and it’s just getting rarer and rarer to see any guys at all wearing speedos, and the few that are, they’re almost always older. 99.9% of the younger guys are wearing board shorts. It sucks.

[NJFrenchy]

I’m sorry to hear that. Fewer people are wearing speedos everywhere, even though it’s the most practical swimwear for men, as well as the best looking. It’s a question of insecurity. So many men are uncomfortable about their penis size, and get judged by it. Also people are even more insecure about their weight. I know these feelings well. In my late teenage years I got a little fat, plus I’ve never had a huge penis. Back then I was embarrassed to be seen in with my shirt off, let alone a swim brief. Fortunately I lost all the weight thanks to diet, exercise, and smoking. I wouldn’t recommend that last one though , a nasty habit. Once I lost the weight I realized, though hardly large, my penis was alright in terms of size. Once this happened I went in the other direction, and was happy to wear the skimpiest suits I could find, or something pretty much see-through. So to hell with it, if people judge me! I’ve got a PhD, a good job, have had my work published, am a fairly good guitarist and singer, my large family loves and accepts me for who I am. I’m also a good cook, and handyman. I don’t wear swim thongs or anything completely see-through anymore, but I still get a kick out of people who do check me out trying to guess my circumcision status.

[Texas_swimmer]

All it takes is someone to start wearing and maybe the guys who wore board shorts over their speedo might take off their board shorts seeing another guy doing it.



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[beachg0y]

Texas_swimmer, you are right. Lots of guys seem to need an Alpha to take the lead on this, man. I've experienced it myself when at the beach in Fort Lauderdale.

[violaboy]

I was just in Maui, and obviously I was always speedo clad. I don't think I've ever gotten so much side eye or lack of other speedos. I was just in Michigan and was more comfortable.

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[diveguy]

I was just in Maui, and obviously I was always speedo clad. I don't think I've ever gotten so much side eye or lack of other speedos. I was just in Michigan and was more comfortable.

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Yes, Hawaii used to be much more speedo friendly. I always saw a few on the beach on Oahu. I never saw any on Maui. Speedos were sold in every single store, boutique, and even snorkel/dive equipment rental places in Honolulu/Oahu. Maybe because many more tourists (from all over the world) go to Oahu as a destination so with more people there is a slightly larger chance that a few would be in speedos.

[SEASPEEDO]

I was just in Maui, and obviously I was always speedo clad. I don't think I've ever gotten so much side eye or lack of other speedos. I was just in Michigan and was more comfortable.

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I've been going to Hawaii since the mid 70's and would agree that there were more speedos in the early days.
As I've mentioned in other posts, in the last couple of years, I've seen a few others in speedos, so that I wasn't the only lone soldier... but they are few and far between!
I've also had some "side eye", but I just ignore it and enjoy myself... sunning, swimming, snorkeling in my speedo!
I've already booked 3 weeks on Maui next winter and can't wait to hit the beach in my speedo!