Speedo in front of the in laws?

FIFA_D · Post by **FIFA_D** » Thu Aug 11, 2016 6:11 pm

I have booked a trip to a family friendly beach in Florida for my long time girlfriend and our daughter and I.
Her father and step mother will be staying with us for three or four days of our week long trip.
I have recently made the conversion to wearing swim briefs almost all the time, but I am having second thoughts about wearing it front of the in laws.
A few points: 1) Her father and step mother are both from a small town in Texas, and I would certainly be the first person to be with them in a speedo.
2) Part of me wants to wear it more in front of the step mother because I imagine her reaction will be that of disgust and she has been a real BITCH to my girlfriend throughout their relationship. 3) her father is a LARGE man who probably won't take off his shirt. 4) I have paid for the rental 100%
I guess that's about it. Just looking for any advice from anyone else who has been in these shoes in the past our words of wisdom on the subject.
Thanks

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diveguy · Post by **diveguy** » Fri Aug 12, 2016 1:45 am

I can't speak to your relationship with your in-laws, but my personal feeling about wearing speedos in front of "family" is that I'm not comfortable doing so. Do those two old folks have to spend every minute of every day in sight of you? If there's a chance to do some beaching away from them, especially just you and your girlfriend, then that might be the time to strip down to the speedos. But if you're looking for shock value, I guess just go for it.

Scottiebum · Post by **Scottiebum** » Fri Aug 12, 2016 6:13 am

I dont think you have to make a point by being too 'in their face' (metaphorically!!), but I see no problem about wearing a pair of shorts to go to the beach or pool and then quietly slipping them off to sun or swim.

rmf · Post by **rmf** » Fri Aug 12, 2016 7:51 am

FIFA_D - I can relate to your dilemma. The one point you didn't mention is - what is your girlfriend's opinion on it? If she gives you specific direction, then I would probably go with what she says...even if she says board shorts. Why, because she will be the one that will have to defend you if there are issues with our in-laws. If your girlfriend is not on your side, then it may be worth it at the end of the day.

So here are some thoughts of what I would do.

if your girlfriend says to wear shorts:
I mentioned this in the past but I have a pair of board shorts by Mr. Turk/Trina Turk for such occasion as the one you are in. The shorts are 4" length in leg and made from a polyester material (think 70's leisure suit stretch material). They are very tight and just slightly longer in the leg than my Parke & Ronan squarecut shorts. (http://www.mrturk.com/bartlett-swim-tru ... ar&start=1.... I purchased my on clearance from 6.pm and they were under $40) . When I wear them, they almost feel like I am wearing square cut suit. That is the most conservative suit I would wear unless I am actually surfing which hasn't happen in a number of years.

If your girlfriend says she has no opinion or do what you want.
This is strictly speaking from my personality. I am not a 'in your face - FU kind of guy" - especially with in-laws. At the end of the day, you still have to deal with them for as long as they are around. I would probably take the gradual approach. I would wear maybe a square cut at first and see how it goes and then either stick with it for this time around or, gradually ease into a swim brief. I have a Parke & Ronan square cut that is red, white & blue which really does a good job at not being over the top to a first time viewer or to someone not use to seeing me in them. If you make the switch to a brief, maybe something simple like a solid color with a 2" side.

If your girlfriend says to wear swim briefs.
I would still wear the most conservative suit I own.... but that is just me.

One last note - this is a good string and I am interested in hearing other opinions. We are also going to Florida panhandle/30A beach area in a week and we'll be there with some friends. They know I swim several times a week and it has come up in conversations that I wear swim briefs. The husband is foreign and said he use to wear them but after he met his wife, she had him switch to shorts. My kids are use to it but his kids are not. I am probably going to take a similar approach as I mentioned above. I will take it gradually and see how it goes.

Briefs have been all over the TV and social media this past few weeks because of the Olympics. I am hoping people will be less opinionated. It is just crazy sometimes.

FIFA_D · Post by **FIFA_D** » Fri Aug 12, 2016 7:58 am

Thanks for the responses. I do have a few points, first I think they will do a fishing charter on their own one of the days.
I would just wear them while swimming or sunning or walking on the beach. I wouldn't wear them around the condo while cooking or watching tv. lol
I wouldn't wear them just for shock value

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speedos4me! · Post by **speedos4me!** » Sat Aug 13, 2016 10:54 am

Small town or big city makes no difference, I am sure they know what a speedo is.

Wear your speedo on that first day there! You have too. If you wait, it will feel more awkward later on. Plus you'll have those weird tan lines.

I tend to go to Ft. Myers Beach every July, which is a more family friendly beach and never have issues. Don't see too many guys in speedos there but there are some. Same for Sanibel Island and Naples.

chicagoswim · Post by **chicagoswim** » Sat Aug 13, 2016 12:26 pm

I agree with the previous advice on what your girlfriend's opinion is on the situation. If she doesn't care, then you are free to do what you want.

I have been in that situation but more of a very conservative in-law family. So with them, I do wear short, light weight Parke and Ronan trunks. But they're mid thigh and definitely shorter than all of the other male family members. It's all from respect for my husband and his family culture. Being Indian, they're modest and religious so I totally blend in with their values.

As for my own immediate family, I've worn speedos, square cuts or shorty short trunks and they don't care. They tease me for a "brief" second but then we move on to splashing around in the water.

My advice, be respectful of all involved regardless of whether the mom is mean, the dad is larger, and you're paying for the trip. Take the higher road and make choices from your girlfriend's preference and not out of spite for other factors.

Hope this helps!

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52dno98 · Post by **52dno98** » Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:51 am

rmf wrote:
One last note - this is a good string and I am interested in hearing other opinions. We are also going to Florida panhandle/30A beach area in a week and we'll be there with some friends. They know I swim several times a week and it has come up in conversations that I wear swim briefs. The husband is foreign and said he use to wear them but after he met his wife, she had him switch to shorts. My kids are use to it but his kids are not. I am probably going to take a similar approach as I mentioned above. I will take it gradually and see how it goes.

Briefs have been all over the TV and social media this past few weeks because of the Olympics. I am hoping people will be less opinionated. It is just crazy sometimes.

Ooh, me too. My wife and I are going to Destin the week before Labor Day and taking the 1-year old. Plus my in-laws are coming. I have absolutely ZERO illusions that I'm going to wear a speedo on the beach or in front of my in-laws, but I will bring a suit or two for lap swimming during the week, so who knows? But rmf, I have been going to Destin since the mid 80's and can probably count on one hand- and not even use all of my fingers- all of the Speedos I've seen on the beaches there.

hpfny · Post by **hpfny** » Tue Aug 16, 2016 6:42 am

rmf wrote:FIFA_D - I can relate to your dilemma. The one point you didn't mention is - what is your girlfriend's opinion on it? If she gives you specific direction, then I would probably go with what she says...even if she says board shorts. Why, because she will be the one that will have to defend you if there are issues with our in-laws. If your girlfriend is not on your side, then it may be worth it at the end of the day.

So here are some thoughts of what I would do.

if your girlfriend says to wear shorts:
I mentioned this in the past but I have a pair of board shorts by Mr. Turk/Trina Turk for such occasion as the one you are in. The shorts are 4" length in leg and made from a polyester material (think 70's leisure suit stretch material). They are very tight and just slightly longer in the leg than my Parke & Ronan squarecut shorts. (http://www.mrturk.com/bartlett-swim-tru ... ar&start=1.... I purchased my on clearance from 6.pm and they were under $40) . When I wear them, they almost feel like I am wearing square cut suit. That is the most conservative suit I would wear unless I am actually surfing which hasn't happen in a number of years.

Sorry, but you know I have to say that if some females are uncomfortable with men wearing swim briefs, then I think it's just as fair that they should reciprocate in kind and just spare us from seeing them in their 2-piece (or even a 1-piece) swimsuits (assuming that they even have the ideal body type for that and let's face it, lots of "tankers" go to the water wearing 2-piece bikinis). Otherwise, they can just shut up and put up OR take a hike.

FIFA_D · Post by **FIFA_D** » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:07 pm

So I spoke to my girlfriend and she is of the opinion that I should do and wear whatever I want. That is her opinion in general, she is supportive of my swimwear choice, but it wasn't her idea.
So I took Chicagoswim's advice and got some SLIGHTLY more conservative swimwear. I'm sure I'll bring baggy shorts too, but I agree with speedos4me and think if I do it it should be from day one.
Here are the links to a few that I ordered. They are more like 2 in inseam.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01E1YP3 ... dp_summary

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01GPXXV ... dp_summary

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01CI6C2 ... dp_summary

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01CI1K8 ... dp_summary

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socalswimmer · Post by **socalswimmer** » Wed Aug 17, 2016 7:24 am

If you go with the briefs, my recommendation is to wear them under shorts. Hang out in shorts but lose them before going to the water. This will help you get a an idea of the reaction. If you're uncomfortable with how they react, you can always put the shorts back on. You can say it's more comfortable to swim in the briefs, blah, blah.

By the way, nice choice of trunks!

ChicagoDan · Post by **ChicagoDan** » Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:44 am

I think any of those square cut suits are acceptable. I have worn mine to water parks with no negative reactions, from my wife, or the public.

chicagoswim · Post by **chicagoswim** » Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:47 am

Glad I was able to help. I've been in your exact situation so I 100% relate. The suits you chose are great! Can't beat the prices either. I have been very happy with the Desmit suits I've bought in terms of fit and quality. I may have to get a couple square cuts now.

Definitely go with whatever you plan to wear from day one. You have to act like it's no big deal and treat it like it's normal. When you start acting weird or watching for reactions, you lose power in the situation. Maintain your power by staying confident.

If they absolutely freak out, then you have trunks to fall back on. If they don't seem to care about the square cut briefs, then you can go a little briefer as the vacation continues. If anyone asks why you wore the square cuts at first, you can always spin it and tell them you wanted be conservative out of respect for them. Putting your girlfriend's family first will make you the hero to both her and her parents.

Good luck!!

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speedos4me! · Post by **speedos4me!** » Sat Aug 20, 2016 6:16 am

Awesome choices FIFA_D. Keep us posted one how things worked out on your trip.

swimmy · Post by **swimmy** » Sun Aug 21, 2016 9:08 am

Interesting situation you have going on here. I get the part of wanting to wear it in front of your girlfriend's step mom. You're rubbing it in that the gf gets a sexy stud and the wicked stepmother doesn't. I often think that a kind of jealousy comes out when a gal sees something she maybe always wanted but could never have, don't all women at least secretly want a sexy guy? This jealousy may be the reason so many women say they hate speedos, it pisses them off.
Personally I can still wear a speedo anywhere its appropriate to be in swim trunks. It's pretty much all I've ever worn in the sport of competitive swimming around crowds of people at swim practice, swim meets, open swim and at the beach. As I've stated before there has never been a negative comment thrown at me. Not sure how my bod or its slight attire might offend anyone and I don't care who wants to stare, or not.
Now, what will be your girlfriend's father's take? Will he be jealous too? I think that's why many guys seem to hate speedos, because they think they would look terrible in one, and don't have the guts to try it. Do most guys wish they had a sexy body? Probably, huh? If you got it, flaunt it. Have fun on vacation, above all!

FIFA_D · Post by **FIFA_D** » Fri Aug 26, 2016 5:54 pm

swimmy wrote:Interesting situation you have going on here. I get the part of wanting to wear it in front of your girlfriend's step mom. You're rubbing it in that the gf gets a sexy stud and the wicked stepmother doesn't. I often think that a kind of jealousy comes out when a gal sees something she maybe always wanted but could never have, don't all women at least secretly want a sexy guy? This jealousy may be the reason so many women say they hate speedos, it pisses them off.
Personally I can still wear a speedo anywhere its appropriate to be in swim trunks. It's pretty much all I've ever worn in the sport of competitive swimming around crowds of people at swim practice, swim meets, open swim and at the beach. As I've stated before there has never been a negative comment thrown at me. Not sure how my bod or its slight attire might offend anyone and I don't care who wants to stare, or not.
Now, what will be your girlfriend's father's take? Will he be jealous too? I think that's why many guys seem to hate speedos, because they think they would look terrible in one, and don't have the guts to try it. Do most guys wish they had a sexy body? Probably, huh? If you got it, flaunt it. Have fun on vacation, above all!

It is interesting, swimmy.
We invited them because he has grown apart from my girlfriend and we thought it would be good to invite him so he could see his daughter and granddaughter. We didn't honestly think he would accept 1) because of the awful step mother and 2) it's a 12 hour drive from his house to the beach we are going to. So it was surprising to hear he wanted to go for a few days and with the step mother.
I don't know the step mother very well, but I don't know that will be jealous. Maybe she is into larger guys. I don't fit that bill as I'm 6'3'' 155-160#. I know undoubtedly she will tell her daughter and I image try to sneak a picture to share and snicker over.
I have no clue what to expect for a reaction from either one of them. I think shock, disbelief, and maybe concern for others, and maybe for my daughter. I am in no way saying these concerns are valid, but it is what my guess is. Maybe they will secretly be jealous. I'm sure regardless it will be a talking point between his family.
I think the concern I have now, is that regardless of their reaction, I don't want them to think I invited them to shock/disgust them or "show off". I invited them thinking they wouldn't accept.
I've been busting my ass at work this year and this vacation was a reward to me and my family for putting up with my schedule. If they were not there I would 100% be in swim briefs everyday at the beach.
The desmit suits came in and while they offer a bit more coverage in the front and the back they are still quite small.

Thanks to everyone for the advice and support. I won't leave y'all in the dark as to what happens. We leave Sept 20th (just three days after my schedule full body wax

)

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52dno98 · Post by **52dno98** » Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:02 am

I can report back from a week in Destin, Florida, that you'll almost certainly be the lone speedo on the beach. It wasn't particularly crowded early in the week, but Friday picked up and Saturday was just insane. SO many people on the beach.

I saw one guy in a speedo- he wore a different suit on Friday and Saturday. Probably 50-ish, thin. An hour or two after I saw him Friday I heard some fat redneck ladies talking about him. "Naw, Ruth Anne... It said 'Speedo' on his butt!" And they cackled.

I didn't work up the courage to wear a speedo on the beach- I joked with my wife that I was going to, putting on a 3" suit as we were getting ready, "NOW I'm ready for the beach!" and she said, "dear, I can see which way your weiner is pointing" and that was the end of that.

I saw so many disgusting fat people on the beach yesterday, with fat bellies hanging out and gross tattoos and cottage cheese for thighs. Then there was only one speedo- something WAY less gross to look at. This country is so effed up. It was really disheartening. Ok. Rant over.

Thom · Post by **Thom** » Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:22 pm

FIFA_D wrote:So I spoke to my girlfriend and she is of the opinion that I should do and wear whatever I want. That is her opinion in general, she is supportive of my swimwear choice, but it wasn't her idea.
So I took Chicagoswim's advice and got some SLIGHTLY more conservative swimwear. I'm sure I'll bring baggy shorts too, but I agree with speedos4me and think if I do it it should be from day one.
Here are the links to a few that I ordered. They are more like 2 in inseam.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01E1YP3 ... dp_summary

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01GPXXV ... dp_summary

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01CI6C2 ... dp_summary

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01CI1K8 ... dp_summary

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I like the grey/black with orange detail. WUAMBO

Also this one. https://www.amazon.com/Neleus-Swimwear- ... s_ap_1_vtp

frankjath · Post by **frankjath** » Mon Sep 05, 2016 10:01 am

I hope one day you can find the courage. True happiness is being true to yourself and not letting others opinions dictate how you live your life. One thing I've learned by putting myself out there in real life and social media, is that those who accept you for who you are will stick around and support you and those that don't are not worth your time and or energy. I wear skimpy thongs and speedos all the time at any beach, and even on my Instagram and surprisingly people don't care, I have a wide demo from moms to dads to collage age people following me and friends that support me. I believe the energy you put out into the universe will attract certain types of people. If people are closed minded there really is nothing you can do but continue living your life and staying positive. Promise me on your next travels you will only pack speedos.

chicagoswim · Post by **chicagoswim** » Mon Sep 05, 2016 3:47 pm

Well said FrankJath! I for one also follow you. Every post is genuine and consistent with what you wrote above.

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