Gaining confidence

[rockman748]

I want to try and have more confidence in my speedos this upcoming summer, and be able to go to the beach in a speedo. I have been wanting to for a few years not, but just lack the confidence to do it. I also surf and so I know a lot of the people at the beach and I just think it would be really weird to, but at the same time I want to. What did you guys do to finally get yourself to wear your speedos in public.

I have a few different colored aussiebums thatI will wear around the house, in the bathtub, and tan on the back porch in. I have a burgundy, portsea, evergreen, freshwater, ice blue, navy, and blue striped ones. I always just end up wearing them under my board shorts. If there was ever a day when I went to the beach and there was not a single other person there then I would have no problem doing it. I just don't want to do it and then see a friend of mine, and then suddenly everyone knows that I go to the beach in a speedo.

Any advice would help.

Please note I am not gay, nor do I want to appear that way to other people.

[Baltspeed]

Wearing speedos is not gay. It s a question of self-confidence. And girls gonna like it. Why so shy? So just do it!

[electric2010]

Could you go to a different beach? If you can, just go and do it. You'll find that no one cares that you are wearing a speedo.

[drummer0083]

I want to try and have more confidence in my speedos this upcoming summer, and be able to go to the beach in a speedo. I have been wanting to for a few years not, but just lack the confidence to do it. I also surf and so I know a lot of the people at the beach and I just think it would be really weird to, but at the same time I want to. What did you guys do to finally get yourself to wear your speedos in public.

I have a few different colored aussiebums thatI will wear around the house, in the bathtub, and tan on the back porch in. I have a burgundy, portsea, evergreen, freshwater, ice blue, navy, and blue striped ones. I always just end up wearing them under my board shorts. If there was ever a day when I went to the beach and there was not a single other person there then I would have no problem doing it. I just don't want to do it and then see a friend of mine, and then suddenly everyone knows that I go to the beach in a speedo.

Any advice would help.

Please note I am not gay, nor do I want to appear that way to other people.

I understand the feeling of running into someone you know. It used to scare the heck out of me when I went to my local gym. However, in the end, I realized that I'm there to better myself (I've lost about 50 lbs since 1 year or so ago) and its not about anyone else. I can do what I want and it's nobody else's business. Speedos are not only stylish (nobody else has to know I think that), but they're practical in terms of swimming & movement and dry quicker (which you could say to someone if they ever mentioned it to you).

Good luck man!

[Sluggo's]

Hey there Rockman, I recommend you take your boardies off just as you get back to your towel and lie down on your stomach. Then roll onto your back and then back on to your stomach, gradually extending the amount of time on your back. Because showing your bulge is the hurdle, right? I suggest you also make quick trips to the water and back to your towel. I reckon you'll feel ok pretty quickly. Also, have a look around at the women on the beach. I bet they're not self conscious about letting it all hang out. Good luck and cheers.

[diveguy]

I want to try and have more confidence in my speedos this upcoming summer, and be able to go to the beach in a speedo. I have been wanting to for a few years not, but just lack the confidence to do it. I also surf and so I know a lot of the people at the beach and I just think it would be really weird to, but at the same time I want to. What did you guys do to finally get yourself to wear your speedos in public.

I have a few different colored aussiebums thatI will wear around the house, in the bathtub, and tan on the back porch in. I have a burgundy, portsea, evergreen, freshwater, ice blue, navy, and blue striped ones. I always just end up wearing them under my board shorts. If there was ever a day when I went to the beach and there was not a single other person there then I would have no problem doing it. I just don't want to do it and then see a friend of mine, and then suddenly everyone knows that I go to the beach in a speedo.

Any advice would help.

Please note I am not gay, nor do I want to appear that way to other people.

Here are a few options:

1) Take a vacation to some place that is speedo friendly, or where a lot of the other tourists wear them. Get used to wearing your speedos in public where nobody else there knows you personally.

2) Work out. A lot. Get a killer physique that you are proud of, and then at least physical appearance will not be a reason not to wear a speedo. In fact, it ought to be against the law for dudes with really good physiques not to wear speedos.

3) Bring a hot looking chick with you that looks amazing in a bikini. Finding a willing one is perhaps easier if you successfully accomplish #2 above. But lying out next to a hot babe in a bikini while you are in a speedo will make every other person jealous, and will make you tend to spend more time on your stomach because the boner will never go away.

4) Take up regular swimming at your local pool, especially a gym or other lap pool, and do it in speedos because serious fitness swimming done in anything other than a speedo is madness. Friends of swimmers tend to be more understanding of speedos because swimming tends to bring "legitimacy" to wearing a speedo if there ever needed to be a "legitimate" reason to wear one in the first place. Which there really doesn't, which brings us to Number 5:

5) Ignore numbers 1, 2, 3 and 4 above and just do it god dammit because you prefer speedos and you ought to just wear them if you damn well please. And being gay is not the only rationale for wearing one and being straight is not enough of a reason not to wear one.

[fbanks]

Great advice.

For me, I got over that first hurdle by going to a beach a little further from the ones I favored, walked a ways down to the end of the beach away from most of the people ... then just did it. Put down my towel, stripped off my shorts and laid in the sun. It was unbelievable! Going off-peak times, especially during the week and late season pretty much prevented the fear of running into anyone I knew. Laying in the sun, walking up and down the beach, sitting in a beach chair with a book, I did it until I became more and more comfortable with myself and one day, just got over it because my love for Speedos and tanning took over and went back to my favorite beach when I wanted to.

The next big step was going to the beach with a girl that was a friend (but not a girlfriend), laying on the towel, taking a deep breath and slipping off my shorts leaving me in my Speedo. I was terrified, then exhilarated when she commented very positively on my choice of swimwear. The more I did it around people I was comfortable with, the easier it became.

From there, I found that there were always other 'opportunities' for me to wear a Speedo where I did a lot of Boogie Boarding and water skiing, and frequently wore a wetsuit. Nothing works better under a wetsuit than a Speedo. It just seemed to be accepted that I always wore a Speedo under my shorts and wetsuit, and would dry myself off while changing, and sitting/laying on a towel in the sun because to me, it wasn't a big deal at all.

As for the pool, I started with a 6 week membership at a Fitness Center, and started really swimming, not just splashing around in the water. Self-conscious at first, I quickly discovered that nobody really cared that I may have not been the best swimmer ... and I was wearing a Speedo ... because I was very nice to everyone and just concentrating on doing my laps. I actually became a very good swimmer through my daily workout routine. Yes, once I was acquainted with everyone there were occasional comments and questions in the locker room about my swimwear and very obvious tan lines ... especially because over time, I evolved and tended to lean toward smaller and sometimes, more colorful Asian suits, but there was nothing ever negative at all.

I say go for it ... start easy and find your zone.

[flspeedolover]

I'd like to gain some confidence wearing my speedos too. I have worn them to the beach, but was crazy nervous the whole time. Hopefully, I can get into better shape before next summer. I've always been self conscious about being so skinny. :/

[_su_]

I want to try and have more confidence in my speedos this upcoming summer, and be able to go to the beach in a speedo. I have been wanting to for a few years not, but just lack the confidence to do it. I also surf and so I know a lot of the people at the beach and I just think it would be really weird to, but at the same time I want to. What did you guys do to finally get yourself to wear your speedos in public.

I have a few different colored aussiebums thatI will wear around the house, in the bathtub, and tan on the back porch in. I have a burgundy, portsea, evergreen, freshwater, ice blue, navy, and blue striped ones. I always just end up wearing them under my board shorts. If there was ever a day when I went to the beach and there was not a single other person there then I would have no problem doing it. I just don't want to do it and then see a friend of mine, and then suddenly everyone knows that I go to the beach in a speedo.

Any advice would help.

Please note I am not gay, nor do I want to appear that way to other people.

You sound just like me, about 8 months ago. I now surf, run, and sunbathe in my speedo, even on the popular beach. As my wife now proudly tells it (because she is asked frequently by other interested wives), I turned into a speedo wearer by wearing shorter and shorter suits, until finally I showed up at the beach wearing the smallest speedos around. And this is a woman who was previously against speedos, essentially forbidding me from anything that "showed my print" in public. She had been giving me other excuses, but this was the real reason.

Since you're in the States, you're going to "look gay" no matter what you do, trust me. If it didn't bother you before, it won't bother you after wearing them. This assuming a few things you're NOT doing: hitting on guys, getting visibly erect while staring at guys, wearing brightly rainbow striped suits (rainbows are apparently a symbol of gay pride). Besides, even if you do "look gay" what's the worst that will happen?

I wrote about my experience in this thread viewtopic.php?t=137928&sid=a71207dbb81b ... c5#p219062, including the dreaded "running into a coworker" on what I thought was a completely isolated, remote beach!

[fbanks]

I'd like to gain some confidence wearing my speedos too. I have worn them to the beach, but was crazy nervous the whole time. Hopefully, I can get into better shape before next summer. I've always been self conscious about being so skinny. :/

Dude ... you can never be too skinny for a Speedo! BTW. your body would totally rock out an Asian suit.

[_su_]

I'd like to gain some confidence wearing my speedos too. I have worn them to the beach, but was crazy nervous the whole time. Hopefully, I can get into better shape before next summer. I've always been self conscious about being so skinny. :/

I just got back from vacation at a resort in the Dominican, and this "skinny" subject came up. My wife and I were discussing the food/diet options there with a couple from New England, and another couple from Texas, late at night while fully clothed. I mentioned my gluten allergy, and the Texas woman says "is that why you're so skinny?" This other woman immediately speaks up on my behalf and says "no, he's got plenty of muscle, you've seen him at the pool, remember?". After the Texans left, even the other woman's husband says " she's probably jealous because her husband can't rock a speedo like you can." Pretty flattering coming from an out of shape guy who wears board shorts.

My point being, like my post above, is that everyone has an opinion you shouldn't be worrying about.

[frankjath]

First of all your clothing does not define your sexuality and who cares what others think of you. You can't live your life for others and you have to make yourself happy first. In reality no one cares what you wear to the beach. You may get some brotherly teasing from your friends but they will get over it if they are truly your friends. I remember at 16 wanting to wear speedos so my dad bought me a pair I was super nervous at the time, but he told me its just a swimsuit so I wore it to a family beach gathering and no one said a word. I think we over think things in our head and think the worst. Now I wear pretty skimpy swimsuits depending on my mood and I don't care what people think of me because it makes me happy. No one has said anything negative to me. Over the summer I went to a vegan raw fruit potluck and I was pretty much the only one in a very skimpy N2N Bodywear bikini cut speedo. My friend was super cool about it and told me I was fine. So I would just do it and don't over think it.

[fbanks]

I totally agree with what you are saying ... a lot, Frank. Not only do people over-think, over-analyze and worry so much what everyone else will think, they are missing the point. It's only clothing and an expression of who and what your are.

The ones that totally rock out any article of clothing are comfortable with their choice ... and Confident! Embrace what you are doing, and don't let it bother you, because secretly, there are others that probably wish they could do what you are doing right now ... but don't have the guts to do it.

[Thom]

I'd like to gain some confidence wearing my speedos too. I have worn them to the beach, but was crazy nervous the whole time. Hopefully, I can get into better shape before next summer. I've always been self conscious about being so skinny. :/

Dude ... you can never be too skinny for a Speedo! BTW. your body would totally rock out an Asian suit.

I agree. Check out Desmit suits on Amazon. I think they are from China, and Asian cut. I have a 30 waist which translates to an Asian Large. Sometimes you can find Asian Arenas on ebay. They fit well and aren't too expensive, maybe $30. Japan Arenas and Speedos are very expensive and harder to find. You have to upsize the same way. They might even run a little smaller.

[chicagoswim]

I normally wear a 28 or 29 in jeans, shorts, etc.. My first order of Desmit suits were Asian size Large, and they fit pretty well initially. After wearing them at the beach, I ended up ordering their solar style (thong) in the Asian Medium after I returned home from vacation and they fit perfectly!

I still like the Large but am glad I tried out the Medium. From the initial trying on to a full day of wear at the beach, the Large tended to stretch a bit. The Medium I feel is a more proper fit for my frame. I never go down a size with Asian sized suits but Desmitt was the exception. I own 12 of their suits, if I recall correctly.


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